“When I’m happy, something ruins it all the time”

A TAL community member shared that a while back…

…it fits with today’s A2Z of a TAL.


True happiness is the nature of our very existence and can only be found within oneself. We all know this. Yet our goals and strivings constantly trick us into believing our happiness lies in their achievement.

For every moment we live thinking happiness is ‘out there’, we suffer unhappiness.

Striving, reaching for it, for days, sometimes years, in an undertone of misery and emptiness. Yet achievements will never bring lasting happiness.

But not to worry!

Re-recognizing the scam, we simply begin right now expressing gratitude for our abundance of blessings.

Bingo! Connection to our internal source of happiness restored!


The challenge our friend is facing about having their happiness always ruined by something is rooted in this very issue of looking for happiness ‘out there’.

This is very clear.

Because if we feel happy from the inside, ‘events’ out there genereally have no effect on us

(unless they succeed in sucking us into their drama and forgetting we are perfectly happy how we are)


When you are no longer dependent on outside circumstances, events, or people for happiness, then nothing can ‘ruin’ your happiness.

I’ve been put through the ringer of practice on this principle the last 2 weeks as I’ve dealt with a painful and lingering flu.

It’s SO easy to think “I can’t wait til I’m back to health so I can feel good again”.


Hold the train.

Wrong answer.

I re-realized that thought doesn’t serve me and makes the current reality slightly miserable.

So my daily work is to keep returning to a focus on gratitude for all I have.


It’s work!

But I feel better. I reconnect to my happiness.

My alternative?

Be lazy and miserable.


Hope you’re healthy, and well!

And if not full of health, at least FULL of gratitude.

(committed to make today amazing regardless of the circumstances)


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  1. Brandy Sons Reply

    It’s almost like you need a support team when depression keeps you in such a dark, negative place. We can look in the mirror and pump ourselves up and remind ourselves happiness is an inside job. Then it’s Friday night and people are on social media posting pics of outings, of friends, of their partners and we look around…and there’s nobody. And that feeling will pass, maybe. Life is hard and it can be amazing but others have to work at it a little harder.

    • Totally agree Brandy! A supportive loving community is definitely among the most important things anyone can do to help with depression. There’s science behind that too…positive social interaction is proven to boost the immune system and overall health in general also.

      That’s what we’ve got going in the TAL Mastermind. There are many in the group dealing with depression who seem to be getting a lot of help and support from the others.

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