What language do you speak?

In a conversation with two close friends early this morning I became keenly aware of just how different our languages are in regard to ‘Spirituality’.

And yet for some reason we are still great friends.

The discussion got the wheels in my head turning a lot on my run afterward.


What’s my language when it comes to spirituality and things of the mind and heart?

The terms of God, Spirit, Faith and Trust in my Heavenly Father are heavily laden throughout my language. They are part of me and it is the language I speak.

For one of my friends she speaks most fluently with words like mind, thought, self-awareness, consciousness, etc.

And my other friend recognizes in himself an aversion to the words my language is filled with…having felt confronted many times in the past by forceful or overbearing conversations containing those words.


At the end of the day?

We are all attempting to communicate about the same thing in essence, love, success, overcoming our limits and obstacles, creating our art, empowering others, growing, feeling good, reducing stress, doing good and making a positive impact.

We completely agree on those values

And when speaking those words you can’t stop the conversation…it flows amazingly.


But when I shared an experience I had the previous week, and my sentences were filled with faith, God, Trust, etc…their eyes glossed over…

I couldn’t see it…’cause we were on the phone…but when I stopped talking I could feel it. (the dead air, awkward silence and quick shift of subject).

I wasn’t attempting to push any ‘religious’ belief on them by any means. And consciously they knew I wasn’t. It’s just the language that’s a core part of me.

But I may as well have been speaking Japanese because we clearly didn’t relate as well as when other language was used.


At the end of the call, I broke the awkwardness by naming it, and we had a great open discussion about how we totally accept each other regardless of our particular ‘spiritual’ languages.

We were able to reconvene on the universal values we all share and look past our different languages or dialects.


So what language should we speak then?

How can we best relate to people ‘spiritually’ or in other matters of deep significance to us when we inherently speak different languages in this way?


I don’t assume to have all the answers on this.

Here are my initial thoughts though:

First of all, I always feel best when I seek to other’s language and do my best to speak it.

That doesn’t mean abandoning my truths to conform to someone else’s. It is simply being aware of the context of the other person and sharing my experiences and thoughts in a way that they can actually hear…rather than just turning them away as they tune out of my blabbering on in some foreign (to them) tongue.


Being fluent in Spanish has given me wonderful relationships with SO MANY people that would not have been possible otherwise.

And likewise I believe learning the language of other people’s hearts can and does open up the door to love, communication, and friendship in spite of very different spiritual, political, or world views.


In our core, I believe we all deeply want love, unity, and friendship.

And I think those become much more achievable when we learn and understand each other’s languages.


Have a wonderful day!


P.S. – Speaking of languages – I recently re-took the ‘5 love languages’ profile test with my wife.

It was eye-opening and very helpful. If you haven’t taken the ‘5 Love Languages Profile’ you should DEFINITELY check it out…free resource here.

It’s awesome and very valuable to understand about yourself, partner, children or anyone you want to have a loving relationship with.

You may be speaking the wrong language unknowingly.


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  1. You’re so right Aaron! Context is a HUGE piece to communicating a message effectively. Coming from a multi-level marketing background I can totally relate. It seems that people glaze over when hearing than language in the same way they do when hearing religious language. Context is important, but it’s valuable to remember that changing the context doesn’t change the content. People are still able to communicate these messages of faith and truly be heard. Knowing you, I’m sure the people in your life and anyone you might call a “friend” would understand this and love every aspect of you – regardless of how you communicate 😉

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