“In my mind I hear my dad’s words saying…”

As I heard this sentiment from Nancy recently I could not help wondering what words my daughters are hearing in their mind’s from me…

…I truly hope they are empowering. It really gave me cause to reflect and analyze what I’m saying.

Nancy said:


I practice what you teach but my thoughts run rampantly through my mind. Even though I say I love you in the mirror, my mind doesn’t believe it. I am frustrated with myself because of it. Thank you for telling me like it is and how you see it to be true in me.

In my mind I hear my dad’s words saying why can’t you be like your sister. But I promise you I will work diligently on this in my life and thoughts.

– Nancy”


My immediate response to Nancy was this: “I believe in you Nancy. Though I’m sure your Dad is/was a wonderful man with the best of intentions, you do not need to be like your sister or anyone else. You are most beautiful and amazing as your self. You are more than good enough as you.”


My heart hurts imagining one of my own daughters hearing the words, “why can’t you be like your sister,” now, or in her head later in her life. Makes me want to re-double my efforts at praising them each for who they are and guarding my tongue against even the smallest words of judgment or comparison.

It’s incredible how powerful words are, especially from those we trust and love.

When we hear words from people we trust even just one time we tend to write them permanently onto our guiding set of subconscious beliefs.


As a parent, this is a gentle reminder to us all to speak lovingly and non-judgmentally to our children. It’s incredible how much suffering can be produced for so many years when a child believes just a few simple words.


As a child, all of us would do well to take stock of the unrealistic and even damaging expectations we are still buying into. Then do our best to release them, through forgiveness and love.

In the times when I have a hard time believing the words “I love you,” spoken to myself, the way back to love has always been spending more time seeking forgiveness. Like this:

“I’m sorry self, for judging you as not good enough and repeating negative thoughts or condemnation toward you. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.”

If we can’t love ourselves, it’s probably because we haven’t humbled ourselves enough to plead for forgiveness of ourselves. And that’s OK. Because we can just do that now.

Tell yourself you’re sorry.

Then ask yourself for forgiveness.

It’s really hard for us as human beings not to feel compassion toward someone who is humbly saying sorry and asking for forgiveness.

That’s also why it’s important to look yourself in the eye in the mirror when you do.

When you come to yourself in that humble way, the challenge with believing that you love yourself goes away, because compassion and forgiveness just well up from your nature within.

Then saying ‘thank you’ and ‘I love you’ just naturally spill out.


If you’re struggling at all with negative feelings of low self-worth or lack of confidence…or just feeling disconnected from joy at all, and you haven’t gone through the book Remember Who You Are yet…I hope you do soon.

I know it will help you.

The main reason we don’t take actions that could help us is because we don’t actually believe they will help us. I hope when you hear the experiences of many others it will help you believe, so that you can then take the beneficial action in your own life.

The results from Remember Who You Are keep pouring in and I’m grateful to hear how much it’s helping.

Here’s the latest:


“Thanks for the lessons of “Remember Who You Are.” For me these lessons are life savers, I wonder how could I have coped with my negative thoughts without them. They are now my daily rituals and work wonders in my life.

Whenever dark thoughts surface I say my affirmations and believe me, my joy comes back to me. I share them with my children.

My youngest son, a qualified CA(SA), shared with me that he was feeling worthless and I shared the lesson with him and he said, “mommy it really works”.

Thanks Aaron.

Tebogo Mhinga”


Click here to get the book Remember Who You Are now

I truly hope it serves you.


And one more thing…

…Here’s a picture of what’s coming up:

The next book in the series should be ready in a few weeks. It’s called:

Appreciate Everything: How to Be Happy No Matter What, Let Go of Victim Mentality, and Be Grateful Even in Pain.


We’ll focus next on the daily habit of appreciation…another extremely important habit.

I’m eager to get this new book in your hands to help you take another step forward in building positive habits into your life.


Hope you are well.

Make today amazing!


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