Why you should do what you love, and do it now with Arvind Devalia
Arvind Devalia: You want a life of joy and you want a life of that is fulfilling and it would makes a difference of other people. So, the secret to have an amazing life is to, I guess find what you really love doing, do it and connect with people look for ways of contributing and also look for ways of celebrating and bringing joy to your life every day.
Aaron Kennard: Hello! And welcome to the Truly Amazing Life show where life is always just stunning, beautiful, never a care in the world. And we have bazillions of dollars and that's what it takes to make life amazing, just kidding, except for that stunning and beautiful part. I'm your host Aaron Kennard and today I've got the true pleasure of introducing you to Arvind Devalia from London, England. On this call you're going to hear about Arvind's three C's which I absolutely love. There is core values in his life and it's so simple. There's such an easy guy to what brings him true fulfillment. He's also gonna share some great stories to his life that led him to the place he is right now. So here we go.
Welcome to the Truly Amazing Life podcast. I'm so excited to be here today with Arvind Devalia and he's from, you're from London, England right Arvind?
Arvind Devalia: That's right. Yes. I've been there most of my other life actually, but in London. But am originally from Kenya, I was born in Kenya, I'm Indian origin, so I'm Indian, Kenyan and, British I guess.
Aaron Kennard: Wow that's kinda cool. So just as a quick intro for Arvind, he is a top coach, he's a popular blogger, he's an amazon bestselling author of Get the Life You Love, and he's been coaching for about ten years now, and he's just known for he's infectious and energetic nature and a real deep desire to help other people. So his main blog is over arvinddevalia.com/blog and we'll put all this in the show notes and everything for you but we just want to give you a quick intro to Arvind. I'm excited to have you here Arvind.
Arvind Devalia: Well thank you. Thanks for having me here, cause I've been reading your blog also at first came across to you somehow should be internet. I came across your poster this is a Truly Amazing Life and many connected me recently to well, this interview at least now I can connect to the person who created this amazing poster which I really love by the way. And I'm very happy to be here.
Aaron Kennard: Yeah. Like I said that I'm excited to have you and I'm excited to introduce you to the listeners here on the Truly Amazing Life podcast. So let's just jump right in the nature of this podcast, as everybody knows, is to discuss what it is to live a truly amazing life and to discuss that would people that live in a truly amazing lives. So that's what we brought you on cause your mission and passion in life is awesome and it's just clear to see evidence by what you're doing and what you write about that, that you're just so passionate about life. So let's just jump in. Arvind, tell us what makes life truly amazing to you right now and why you're so thrilled to wake up and be alive each day?
Arvind Devalia: I think really, it's all those things either you accept that life is really good or is not, when I talk to people about my life, and what I meant, and what I suggest to do, I have my three C's so if i can just play each one in properly, so the three C's are connection, contribution, and celebration. So to me, life is about connecting in people and so, otherwise without people there's no life. You cannot live a life on your own. You cannot be on an island and spend the rest of your life even there's some would love to do that. So connecting with people and connecting with them into hard level rather than superficially. I think it's very important. And then looking at ways of contributing to them in some way, making the difference which could be small or big it doesn't need to be anything major. It could be for example seeing a stranger who's clearly lost and getting him of directions, so even the asking if he's lost makes big difference to people. And contribution can be small or big. And as this day my life has been about contribution for a few years now all started way back at a charity school in India a few years back, but I'll talk more about it later.
Aaron Kennard: Yeah.
Arvind Devalia: The third C is all about celebration. And i think this is about a quite big on celebration, celebrating each day and remembering that everyday has to be amazing. And we can look for joy in everyday if we wish to live our life like that. So I think as we set it on things happen. And sometimes life isn't as amazing as we like it to be. For example, yesterday, when you were confirming this session today.
Aaron Kennard: Yeah. Tell me about it, you said.....tell me about it...
Arvind Devalia: And i think also it's all about being real as well so, life has can really be amazing. But we all have our challenges as well, so it's being able to acknowledge where you're at realistically and known ok, life is giving you some challenges and learning points at the moment. But looking beyond that and seeing what more you can do from there. ‘Cause it's very easy to get broke down, you might have outstanding bills, or you might have let's say someone knocked your car, or someone gave you dirty look on the train maybe, but it's very easy for us to remember this minor little irritating things that could dictate the rest of our day if we allow them to.
Aaron Kennard: I appreciate you bring it up because... You know and I appreciate you mentioning that, because I think it's easy for us to caught up and talking about how great everything is. But let's just be real and everybody gets knocked, beat up, it's things happening to them every day we gotta deal withÉ
Arvind Devalia: Yeah
Aaron Kennard: You know, it's not like just like if you live in truly amazing life that everything's just awesome all the time and you never feel any challenges. It's not like that at all.
Arvind Devalia: Yeah absolutely. Now, I've met some people in the past who on the face of the very positive and happy people, but when you look into their lives not to know the better they run a lot of challenges of their selves life, but for some reasons they have to appear to be very happy and successful in the outside, but whereas to me if they're more authentic and genuine though probably come across as better people in a way. Though being authentic and being genuine is very important no matter where you are in the life.
Aaron Kennard: I think this is a super important topic, so let's stay here for just a minute, because what does that mean like, I think this is confusing to other people. Like a lot of people see really happy people and they may think, Oh, maybe they're not that genuine. Maybe they're just... How do you tell the difference if somebody just putting on a face? Or you know? How do you live like that? What's your thoughts on that?
Arvind Devalia: One of the things I learned few years back, was being vulnerable and being open to being vulnerable, because when you being genuine and vulnerable, and talk to human people who really get you. So for example, I've been to press, I've been joining seminars where speakers be on the stage on the front, and my intuition just tells me he wasn't being genuine and just was putting a on show. And the other speakers on the stage are really speaking from their heart and telling they're really touching stories about how they got in their lives, and some incidents that happened to them. You can really tell when someone is really being genuine and vulnerable. I think vulnerable it is very important. Now I think we all know, we really listen, slowly slow down and get grounded, and listen to our sixth sense or in to our intuition. We can always tell that is someone being genuine or not. And I think, you know it comes back to being vulnerable, and then being real.
Aaron Kennard: And then doing that to yourself, right? I mean, its fine to look with that at others but more importantly, just be genuine to yourself, right? And be real.
Arvind Devalia: Yes
Aaron Kennard: And not try to put on the front. So, if somebody says, Hey! How's your day going?” And you're having a rough day, what do you say?
Arvind Devalia: Yeah. I mean you can say that, you can say you're having some challenges but I think also, it's important not to start beating yourself down and going on and on about a bad day.
Aaron Kennard: Yeah
Arvind Devalia: A lot of people nowadays are aware of the Law of Attraction.
Aaron Kennard: Yeah
Arvind Devalia: We don't want to exercise that. Got to focus on what you want, rather than what you have in the moment where you at.
Aaron Kennard: Yeah.
Arvind Devalia: So, my take on that is that Law of Attraction is great. You're gonna be aware of those principles, but if you are having a tough day then say so, but move on quickly, and move on to what you like instead.
Aaron Kennard: Yeah.
Arvind Devalia: It's very easy to start mocking around, and one bad incident could ruin your whole day or your whole week if you allow it to.
Aaron Kennard: Yeah. That's perfect. Yeah. I really like to acknowledge those things and for me what I do is if I'm kind of just feeling down, or feeling beat up or something, I like to step back, and stop and go look at myself on the mirror, and go say, You know, this is tough. Like I really acknowledge and face up to, you know I don't feel amazing. What can I do to feel a little better? Like what so just be real and authentic even with myself, and check in rather than to hide from it or just put on a happy face or whatever.
Arvind Devalia: Exactly. I think the thing to do is remember that it is what it is.
Aaron Kennard: Yeah.
Arvind Devalia: And just accept it. Because otherwise, you're fighting in the whole world if you trying to change something which you can't even control.
Aaron Kennard: Yeah.
Arvind Devalia: So, I really find it very funny in the U.K., because weather is so changeable. And at the moment, the weather is great. It's nice, sunny, and hot. But in a few weeks, it's going to turn very cold. And generally, people in the U.K. moan a lot about the weather. And the reason for that is apparently, it's the most changeable weather system in the whole world. We can never put to anything, it changes so much.
Aaron Kennard: Interesting.
Arvind Devalia: And yet, I hear so many people complaining about it, and moaning about it, and funny there's nothing they can do about it. So, I normally laugh when people say, even our weather people on TV and radio, they always tell you, What a miserable day it is. So, how miserable the weather is.
Aaron Kennard: Yeah.
Arvind Devalia: It's giving the weather an emotion where's, really there's nothing we can do to control it.
Aaron Kennard: Yeah.
Arvind Devalia: And it is what it is. So, if we use that metaphor in your daily life, and if something happens, all we can do something it, accept it. And most of the time, we can't do anything about it, and the best thing is to acknowledge where you at and then move on.
Aaron Kennard: Perfect. That's awesome. Well, let's do that. Let's do move on right now. Actually, it's a good transition too. Let's take us back to your life. Let's get focus more I'm kind of, you're obviously, you've got this grounding connection. You've have this three C's, and you've got this way of looking at life that helps you pull through challenges and helps you really be happy and helps you makes a difference in other people's lives right now. And it's very clear, obviously from what you explained, and just what you're doing. Take us back to when it wasn't like this for you and when maybe you didn't see life all that clearly and all that well. And a story from your life that helped change that.
Arvind Devalia: Yeah. You know, one change from me, about ten to twelve years back I was going through some massive life changes. I was married at that time and marriage was about to end, and we were all involved in a dot com start up with some friends and the company had just gone under.. and we were at all internet paper millionaires, then suddenly...
Aaron Kennard: You we're one time what?
Arvind Devalia: We were all internet paper millionaires.
Aaron Kennard: Ok. Got you.
Arvind Devalia: We were millionaires on paper but we never suddenly we never actually don't realize that well.
Aaron Kennard: Yeah. Ok.
Arvind Devalia: So, there were lots of things that happened to me at that time, and to get away from it all, it's start of getting my head back together again. I went off India for a couple of months, and I worked at the charity school in South India, and that was just up till then, the most amazing time of my life. I was working with children and it was a warm place. Lots of friendly people and each time I'll do something constructive for the first time in my life, something meaningful, something really fulfilling.
Aaron Kennard: Yeah
Arvind Devalia: And during that time I happen to visit an orphanage and when I was around the orphans, I'm just playing with them, and just they were messing around with me with the kids. And for a few moment it felt like that's where you belonged. And it felt like a long time, but it's probably not more than a minute or two. And what I realize at that time it was I experienced unconditional love for the first time. It was just a magical moment and you know when they say, You just lost or when you're in the zone?
Aaron Kennard: Yeah
Arvind Devalia: That's what it felt like. When I came out of that amazing time, amazing moment or two, I realized that I want to do more of the same. So, to cut a long story short, I've got back to England eventually, and discovered life coaching after that visit and haven't really look back since.
Aaron Kennard: So…
Arvind Devalia: When I come back to a desire to get away from my life. ‘Cause I was in a really, really down place, and I don't want to be there in that place again.
Aaron Kennard: Why were you in such a down place? I mean, what do you attribute that to as far as…?
Arvind Devalia: I think because the relationship was breaking down, and also the job, the business which we built on the previous two years was about to go down. Lots of expectations weren't going to be met. So looking back, my life is not ready to __ when it was then and also I became a much better person really. I was Mr. Angry, I was very driven, I was working twenty hours a day, I was very selfish actually in those days, and I was very self-centered. And just being around that space and knowing that there is more to life than what I was doing.
Aaron Kennard: So, what led you to going over to India and being in that orphanage and stuff?
Arvind Devalia: Basically I needed a time out. To get my head back together again and we were having a child separation before confirming that the marriage was over, so it was thankful time to get away in hindsiight it really helped me to be there.
Aaron Kennard: Yeah. Absolutely.
Arvind Devalia: Allow me to discover me the real me. I'd like to think that when I'm here now is the real me and not the guy I was before…
Aaron Kennard: And so that moment that orphanage then kind of what are you saying, it's just kinda felt like this really long moment where you were just connected with who you really were and feeling this unconditional love?
Arvind Devalia: Exactly. And I'll just go by mention about the book “Get the Life You Love.” And in the book I talked about what happened to me and the sort of guy I was before. And couple of friends who know me quite well now. They recently read the book and they were saying they can't believe that I could have been somebody like that.
Arvind Devalia: That's real endorsement that I've come a long way.
Aaron Kennard: That's cool.
Arvind Devalia: Looking back, its real thing like it was a wakeup call for me. It was wake up can saying that I being changed for the rest of my life like that.
Aaron Kennard: That's cool. That's really cool. So that's the big part of the story that book then when you say, “Get the Life You Love”, it takes through that in more detail.
Arvind Devalia: No, basically it allow me to realize that life has to be around contribution, and connecting with people and making difference, and also celebrating life, otherwise why bother. And a man can need ultimate the same. We all want a life of joy and you want a life that's fulfilling, and makes a difference of other people. So, the secret to having an amazing life is to, I guess find what you really love doing, do it and connect with people look for ways of contributing, and also look for ways of celebrating and bringing joy to your life everyday.
Aaron Kennard: I love how you make that so simple. I love those three C's. That's really, really cool. Thanks for sharing that. Well, Arvind tell us… of the truly amazing life poster which of those twelve principles stands out the most of you right now and why?
Arvind Devalia: Well, I really like all of them actually, but the one I really like at the moment right now was empowering. Empowering others and empowering others in a way that they can also make a difference in other people's lives. And I think we all underestimate ourselves. We all really understand ourselves and to my coaching it's all about empowering others. We got to listen where they're at in their life. So for example, I'm working with a teacher at the moment and you really need a new line to career change and he's like a super writer. And just empowering him to really see how great can be as he did great thing for me and very fulfilling.
Aaron Kennard: That's cool. So, that principle of empowering, I mean it's like you're, it's part of your contribution see for you too right it's kinda like on that same bucket and so found that to be super fulfilling in your work, you say?
Arvind Devalia: Exactly. Yes. I think lot of my coaching is about empowering others and getting them to see their own greatness, because we all have so much more to offer better we think we have. And I think most people get stuck in their day-to-day routine, and become a dungaree and giving them a chance to step back in a coaching session is seeing where it can be like in a very powerful space to be.
Aaron Kennard: Well, you talked about before, I mean at the beginning, how you're in, you're really driven and angry, kinda self-centered. You're really a paper millionaire, but you weren't really happy. Obviously, you were miserable and you needed to get out of that, it was all these problems, right?
Arvind Devalia: Yes. Yeah.
Aaron Kennard: So what's the?
Arvind Devalia: Though I was happy but I wasn't. Looking back for example, the marriage I was in, people used to say what a great marriage it was, or what a great couple we were and everything. And I used to say it's the same as well, because it wasn't my decision to break up. It was my ex-wife's and it was really hard for me to accept. But in a way it's kind of done deal. But looking back, it wasn't that great, but I look back up and actually, it wasn't that great. But in a way I mean, looking back obviously, I was quite down, and looking back it's a lot of things quite differently and I could have been a better husband, a better apartment, and a better companion. But it's not a year or a day now. Maybe it's what I have to learn from that matter. Yeah. And maybe my marriage was a stepping stone to where I am now. So, for a while to be very honest taking to a couple of years or more to get over the break up, and maybe much longer actually. ‘Cause part of me wasn't accepting and remember the line that it is what it is and learned love, love from that relationship, and I got so much from that from that year of my life and now look back and say I was so grateful for her grateful for actually having the courage to say that this is not what she wanted.
Aaron Kennard: Yeah.
Arvind Devalia: And allowed me to get on with my own life in a way.
Aaron Kennard: That's cool, that's really cool. I like to be able to hear, I love hearing these transitions and just, I mean it sounds like how you're really focus on a lot of those principles and you're leaving with those principles and its. I'm curious to how that relates to business success and money. And so how do you see that aspect of life differently now than you did before?
Arvind Devalia: I think money is very important for us to have the life that we want. And when we had the dot com millions which no materialize, we wait driven for long reasons. It was a dumping at the time yearly to passes last time which crash a lot of people, so pay for fortunes but now I see money and abundance has a good thing to have. This money allows you to do much more and make, not only have a great life but also make a much bigger contribution to others. And to me also money embodies much more than just cash; it's all the abundance surrounds. Previously, I've never been, for example, I never gone to a park and appreciate all the greenery, and the animals, and all the stuff we get around us, in nature. But now, part of my daily routine is to go to a park everyday, and spend some time in nature. Like meditating, or walking or talking to people and so, to answer your question really money is much more than just money. It's only a bundle that surround us so, so rich. So rich this comes from the bank surround us not just from man.
Aaron Kennard: Absolutely. So your view on your approach to it and the reasons behind it are all different and so it changes everything, right?
Arvind Devalia: Actually, right yeah. It's kinda wrong place for contributions rather for a place from accumulation.
Aaron Kennard: And then a place where I don't know, the same way it's like I want an abundance of money in order to do an abundance of good, right? And a lot of people want an abundance of money so that they can buy a lot of stuff for themselves. You know everybody just has their different perspective on what it is so.
Arvind Devalia: Yeah, and I say if one thing but a lot of things, but what's deeper behind that you can only have so many cars, you can only have so many houses. It's what you do beyond that and what I discover that most people I've known now is ultimately one is now enough which we quite focus how to get back as a very wealthy friends and giving some donate money and how to follow supportive a lot of it enormously, so how much people they doing So I do realize lot of people really go back now.
Aaron Kennard I think, I think that's because they find I mean it's so clearly you find a money and stuff it's such an illusion on the way they get fulfilment It's such a common way to for people to say I need this to feel good but in reality we don't need anything to feel good and those the principles of empowering what you're talking about contribution, connection and celebration. You don't need any money to feel those things not that you can do more of that with money but it's like principle of understanding and you don't need that stuff in order to live the truly amazing life in order to be happy but...
Arvind Devalia: The best is the more money you have the more you can help others...
Aaron Kennard: Exactly, exactly.
Arvind Devalia: So it's good to have a lot of money?
Aaron Kennard: It's an interesting balance. It's just that I think it's, I think it's so easy to get caught up in our life about we need this thing and I appreciate your perspective on that. So tell me, one book that you most highly recommended. Of course it's your book “Get the Life You Love. We would obviously recommend the people that. But what other book would you recommend for somebody to start living a truly amazing life?
Arvind Devalia: As now recently cultural books and business book and she said if you could just keep one book which book it could be and can be over. Its a book by Marian Williamson and its called "Return to Love" and you can read it again and again and dive into it often This book is really amazing and clear what life is all about It talks about how in life there's only one thing its love or Lack of love which is fear and this book is highly recommended "Return to Love" by Marian Williamson and she actually wrote in this book some famous words and inspiration which people believe Nelson Mandela used them in inauguration in 1994 these are the words that Marian Williamson had wrote its very famous message its called Our Light and the first couple of lines are "Our deepest fear is not being adequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure", So if anyone wants to read more about Marian Williamson or check on the book "Return to love".
Aaron Kennard: Wow awesome, thanks for sharing that, that's one of my favorite question actually in these interviews because I hear things like that and I never heard of that book...
Arvind Devalia: Laura is base of proposing of Lords Miracles and she's very prominent speaker Very passionate about making difference about our world she's my role model For everything she stands for I believe her and she comes to a place where Contribution, connection and she's very compassionate very unspoken lady check her on videos on YouTube and get a chance to see her live and get through life experience I've seen her about eight times now in fact I'm so lucky to work with I'll be focus on her message and and really big presence and To be able did that in one whole day
Aaron Kennard: That it's, that's cool Lets wrap up then and tell us briefly remind us of your web site...
Arvind Devalia: Website, my name blogger is arvinddevila.com/blog and the main
Aaron Kennard: ARVINDDEVALIA.com/blog And the main book Get the life we love is also available in amazon or Amazongetthelifeyoulove.com Awesome the highly recommend check him out at Arvind blog and Reach out if him if you need anything maybe as we finish after a couple of minutes Just tell us what you've been excited now about life and what you're doing What's the most exciting about you right now
Arvind Devalia: Right now what I'm excited about is meeting more and more people who are comitted in making a big difference in the world And creating great lives to the world So right now for example we are on debate And I'm meeting people who against it and looking in more creative And Pretty ways of getting moving forward What's exciting to me and encouraging me is the feeling of the sense in the world People looking differently and personally I've been encourage by this and I'll be more I'll be doing more of this as well On my blog and my writing to maybe a stronger message of peace and Help people to achieve those things
Arvind Devalia: That's fantastic I think it's easy for people if they get exposed to the news at all for example, or just the evil stuff that might happened to forget how much good changes to the air Or How abundant life is and how many amazing people there are So I really like that you bring that up so, and I feel that as well so
Arvind Devalia: I think there's a lot of add news in the world if you want to focus on that I mean most of the media which they always focus on bad news
Aaron Kennard: yeah
Arvind Devalia: And people come to my place and they're surprised because I don't have a TV I don't have a TV for one year
Aaron Kennard: yeah, neither do I
Arvind Devalia: Switched off your TV, you're getting of your TV and look of all the good things around in the world
Aaron Kennard: It's amazing when your life improve when you just, yeah yeah That makes such a difference cause you get to see whatever you want to look at
Arvind Devalia: Yes, exactly yeah And there's a lot of good people and good things happening and lets just focus on that and More of those i think what we need
Aaron Kennard: That's awesome what a refreshing call with you today Arvind, Thank you so much for being here and I'm honored to get to know you and hanks for your time spending here half across the world...
Arvind Devalia: Well thank you I just want to add some final thoughts..
Aaron Kennard: please
Arvind Devalia: It's a couple of sentence in my book so here we go so, this is the message to someone who's listening Remember your life currents so make it current, you are unique there's no one like you in this planet Never has be if you will not be Therefore, do not sell yourself short, do not sell the world short This is your life, love it and live it Its one life one chance so grab it Get the life you love and live it.
Aaron Kennard: That's a fantastic way to the end Thank you my friend, and let me know if
Arvind Devalia: Thank you and let's see what's next for all of us
Aaron Kennard: Absolutely, just keep in touch and have a fantastic day Thank you, Alright
"Don't sell yourself short; do not sell the world short." I love those closing remarks by Arvind, Thank you Arvind. It goes right along with those closing remarks on the book. The war of art what i just finished listening to by Steven Pressfield
Listen to this,
Steven Pressfield: By action, do it or don't do it It may help to think for you this way If you were meant to cure cancer or write a symphony or crack cold fusion and if you don't do it you not only hurt yourself, even destroy yourself You hurt your children you hurt me you hurt the planet You shame the angels who watch over you and you spike the almighty Who created you with only you and with your unique gifts For the sole purpose of nagging the human race One millimeter farther along its path back to God Created world is not a selfish act or bid for attention or part of the actor It's a gift to the world and every being in it Don't cheat us of your contribution Give us what you've got.
Aaron Kennard: Thank you Steven Pressfield you should o check that book everybody Thanks for tuning in today if you enjoy this episode please go and leave us a review over on I-tunes, go to i-tunes search Truly amazing life and Click Leave a review you'll be super fantastic if you would go and gonna do that And also go to trulyamazinglife.com/episode9 for the show notes and resources from arvind And also for his link of his book and his website.
Go live the truly amazing life you were destined to live today, Take action and do what you love and you feel that you were bound doing something you don't love, Stop doing it or put your love in to it Don't sell yourself short.