Why jettison the judgment?
When we make value judgments it slows our learning.
The tennis example:
Yes! It went in, that was a good serve. (complement)
Doh! That was a bad serve. (criticism)
Either way, those ‘good/bad’ value judgments only lead to more.
I’m a good tennis player.
I’m a bad tennis player.
In life its like this…
I’m a good ____________
(fill it in, writer, piano player, husband, wife, etc.)
Or I’m a bad _____________
The next logical step is to say to ourselves:
“I’m a good person” or
“I’m a bad person”
When we start value judging our actions or our abilities in our roles, it naturally progresses to basing our self-worth on what we do and how well we do it.
And that just isn’t cool!
So don’t do it!~
That’s a bad thing to do! (j/k – scratch that…it’s just a thing;)
Just forget the whole good/bad thing from the get go and you’ll spare yourself a lot of grief.
Oh yeah…and you’ll open up infinite possibilities and potentialities for more joy.
cool side bonus:)
The ‘other way’… the way to learn faster without the emotional roller coaster is to observe without placing value judgments.
“That serve landed where I wanted it to…inside the line.”
“That serve did not land where I intended. It was outside the line.”
Here’s the process:
1 – Observe the action without value judgment.
2 – Imagine, visualize, feel the outcome you want.
3 – Trust your body’s capability of learning to do that.
4 – Try again.
Then start the process over.
Now apply that to every area you seek improvement and experience…
less stress about it.
Letting go of judgment liberation. We know we are our own worst enemy. We bind ourselves with our own iron grip.
Just let go.
Do you really need those judgments that bad?
Just go read “The inner game of tennis” if in doubt.
or here…I read it for you:
“It is not helpful to condemn our present behavior patterns as “bad”; it is helpful to see what function these habits are serving, so that if we learn a better way to achieve the same end, we can do so. We never repeat any behavior which isn’t serving some function or purpose.
It is difficult to become aware of the function of any pattern of behavior while we are in the process of blaming ourselves for having a “bad habit.”
But when we stop trying to suppress or correct the habit, we can see the function it serves, and then an alternative pattern of behavior, which serves the same function better, emerges quite effortlessly.”
But before you entirely jettison judgment, I’d love it if you’d be the judge just for a moment by leaving a review of my book right here on Amazon if you haven’t already…that would help the cause a lot! Thanks!
Until then, Make Today Amazing!