What has to happen in order for you to feel successful?

That is such an important question to become conscious of.

I have to express huge gratitude for Tony Robbins today for asking me that in his free ebook “Re-awaken The Giant Within”. He said many things in addition that stopped me in my tracks this morning, and renewed my perspective:


“Years ago I made a distinction that changed the quality of my life forever:

As long as we structure our lives in a way where our happiness is dependent on upon something we cannot control, then we will experience pain.

The key to my happiness could be found in one rule: my rule for the day was that I was going to enjoy this event no matter what happened.

It wasn’t that I didn’t have expectations; it was that I decided that no matter what happened, I’d find a way to enjoy it.”


That is so key to being happy. I say it all the time. And yet…sometimes I wake up and realize I’m not living it.

So to Tony…thank you for that reminder today as I cry and stop running.

How is it that I’m feeling downtrodden when all around me is beauty and opportunity in boundless measure?

The sun is shining, my body is moving, my family is happy and thriving, the majestic mountains are towering over me. But because of rules in my own mind, rules I have created myself, I have inflicted discouragement on myself.

I’m changing the rules right now.

I’m setting the rules so I can win.

I’m going to enjoy this day no matter what happens – that is my rule.

I’ll do my best to accomplish a lot, and I’ll do my best to focus and not get distracted. But whatever happens I will enjoy this day.

If my adorable 2 year old girl decides it’s time to come jump in my lap I’m going to enjoy the heck out of it! Even if I feel like I have some deadline to meet.

My circumstances are not going to stop me from enjoying this day.


Tony went on to share a story that is exactly what I’ve been doing to myself lately…though not to nearly the same extreme.

Maybe you can relate:


” A classic example of this is a man who attended one of my seminars. He was a well-known Fortune 500 executive, beloved by his community for his contributions, a father of five who was very close to his children and wife, and a man who was physically fit–a marathon runner.

I asked him, “Are you successful?” To the astonishment of all present, he quite seriously answered, “No.”

I asked him, “What has to happen in order for you to feel successful?”

What followed was a litany of rigid rules and requirements that he felt he must meet in order to be successful in his life. He had to earn $3 Million a year in salary (he was currently earning only $1.5 million in straight salary, but an additional $2 million in bonuses–this didn’t count though), he had to have 8 percent body fat (he was at 9 percent), and he had to never get frustrated with his kids (remember that he had five of them, all going in different directions in life).

What do you think are this man’s chances of feeling successful? Will he ever feel successful?

By contrast, there was another gentleman who we had all noticed was practically bouncing off the walls because he had so much energy. He seemed to be enjoying the seminar and life to the utmost.

I turned to him and asked the same question: “Are you successful?”

He beamed back at me and said “Absolutely!”

So I asked him, “What has to happen in order for you to feel successful?”

With a huge grin he explained, “It’s so easy. All I have to do is get up, look down, and see that I am above ground!” The crowd roared. He continued, “Every day above ground is a great day!”


These concepts are at the core of the 12 pillars of a Truly Amazing Life.

There is no bad day! Everything is conspiring for your benefit!

Yet there’s obviously a difference between knowing this stuff and always living it. It’s easy to slide back into the trap of setting crazy-rigid rules for ourselves that destroy our chances of being happy.

Maybe that’s why I need to teach this, because I need more help than anyone to live it.


Let’s give ourselves permission to change the rules.

Will you join me today? Let’s enjoy this day despite what happens…how about it!?

Let’s make today amazing!

Not by accomplishments, but by the choice to enjoy life and love ourselves and others regardless.


P.S. – Come share on the blog if this helped you today and make it known that you commit to make today amazing by enjoying it!

The daily focus for 30 days on one of the 12 pillars is proving to be transformational for many. Here’s the latest response I got from Ben K who just finished the ‘Believe’ module:


“Hi Aaron,

Thank you for all that you do and keeping up the cause of a Truly Amazing Life.

How has this impacted my life, I quickly jotted these down:

  • I have a new hope in life
  • I have a zestier zest for life
  • I am feeling peace and tranquility
  • I have a renewed and refreshed Christian faith and I keep finding more and more scientific evidence of the benefits of affirmations and positive thinking, not that we need it in a faith based life but it is refreshing.

Thanks again for all you do.

Ben K”



–Get freedom from negativity in 5 Minutes per day–
Join ‘5 Minute Mental Mastery’

–Connect with me socially–
Facebook | Twitter

–Get my #1 bestselling book!–
The Positive Thinking Secret

Leave a Comment