Just now a friend of mine, Brad Axelrad, the creator of FaceYourDragon.com, posted this on Facebook:
“I bow in humility to the ups and downs that serve me and everyone I come in contact with, for they are the great teacher.”
“Every person, every thing, is a teacher. Even the nastiest of people and situations I have experienced I embrace and integrate. I take you in and soothe your wounded heart and find the deepest of love and compassion.”
“I forgive fully, openly, lovingly. For holding on to any resentment or pain limits me from being in full service. And at this stage of life, service is all that matters.”
“I surrender. Use me. I am here.”
Thank you Brad! What better way to start thinking about writing to you today on this powerful topic!
I replied back to him with this thought:
“I wonder…is there any stage of life where service is not all that truly matters?”
What is unconditional love if not service?
And what else truly matters in life?
I’m so grateful to be focusing my thoughts with you this month on unconditional love and forgiveness.
Every day presents beautiful new opportunity to forgive.
There really isn’t a day we cannot find something to forgive and become more free.
Today I discovered myself harboring a bit of resentment.
And, interestingly, like my story yesterday, it had to do with real estate deals going south.
I discovered yesterday that the general contractor I hired failed to pass all the appropriate inspections on a house that is now under contract to sell.
We are already way over budget and we will likely lose close to $40,000 on the transaction when it sells…ouch!!
(Generally that’s not a good approach to business by the way…just in case you were wondering. Usually it’s a good idea to make money as opposed to losing a bunch of it 😉
This could possibly cause the buyers to back out of the deal if we can’t get it resolved in time.
At the minimum it’s going to cost even more money and time to get it resolved.
As I interacted with the contractor today, thankfully, they pointed out in an email that they noticed some resentment in my communication.
That caused me to pause.
I stopped and went through this simple process we are doing together. I repeated the phrases in my mind, “I’m sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you. I love you.”…
…But I just wasn’t feeling it.
I wanted to! I really did! But it wasn’t coming…
…I still felt a subtle anger bubbling around inside at the situation and the people involved.
This is where we take it to the next level!
Resentment has no right to destroy our peace and crowd joy out of our hearts.
Here’s another process that will enhance your ability to Love Unconditionally right now…even when you feel stuck: WRITE
We cover this topic in depth in the ‘Create’ pillar — but it merits more discussion this month because it’s such a powerful agent for getting to forgiveness.
Sometimes you need to write in order to forgive and release yourself from rancid resentment.
That was true for me today.
So I sat down at the computer and began to write to the contractor.
This can be an extremely helpful process even if you don’t intend to give that person the letter or send the email, by the way.
This can also be super valuable if the person you feel resentment toward is no longer alive.
Anyone you feel any type of resentment or bitterness toward is a great candidate for a love letter from you.
Just follow the four sentence format and fill in the blanks in writing!
I did this today and it unlocked my heart and liberated me.
I no longer feel any resentment! The act of writing dissolved it completely. The situation still isn’t resolved – but I am now at peace with it, which is invaluable.
In this case instead of asking forgiveness first, I expressed forgiveness like this:
“I forgive you for everything you did to contribute to this situation.”
“I forgive myself for the responsibility I had in creating this situation.”
Then I expressed, “I’m sorry for my responsibility in the situation.” I sent the email because it was appropriate in this case, and I’m confident it will be beneficial for everyone…
…Because it was a letter full of love.
If you ever say those four sentences toward someone, it is guaranteed to disarm defensiveness and break down barriers of hostility to at least some degree.
But even if you don’t send the letter…
…It is valuable for freeing you and filling you with unconditional love.
Writing frees up the mind and brings clarity to the situation.
Writing is an extremely powerful process.
Use writing to love unconditionally whenever you want to go deeper or whenever you feel stuck.
Writing works wonders.
Make today amazing!